ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
