On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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