im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
