worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize