I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize