well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I deserve this hangover.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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