I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
