Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
True strength comes from lack of pants
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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