He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
