Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
