Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
