i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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