He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i think i just lost a toe
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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