you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
