Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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