Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
