I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize