she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Watching her eat just hurts me
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
