I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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