Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
