i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
