And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
