I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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