they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
