if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
