On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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