You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
