If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
