no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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