Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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