Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
