so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize