UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
