This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
