I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
