I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
