Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Rumble strips road head = magical
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Randomize
