The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
