Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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