pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She's the barista slut.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
