Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Pappa wants mamma naked
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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