nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
