We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
