Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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