let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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