Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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