I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
