none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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