It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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