when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize