He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
