Non-Jews are for practice
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize