jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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