Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
