So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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