I'm laying in your front yard are you home
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
