He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize