Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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