she was so not down for the gang bang
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Randomize
