Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
