explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Operation Purity has been aborted
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
