I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Randomize
