at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize