So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
