Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
