So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i love accidental penises.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
