only if we run a train.
done.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
