the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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