i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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