What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
