hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
